


Science Boner

by LemonBubble



Series: NVTR Fics [6]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Crack, Other, even by night vale standards, im so sorry for this, the crackiest of crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-06
Updated: 2013-11-06
Packaged: 2017-12-31 16:08:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1033667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonBubble/pseuds/LemonBubble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day Carlos' team come to work and discovers that Carlos has developed an inexplicable physical attraction to science.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Science Boner

**Author's Note:**

> Night Vale Town Riot Prompt 7 - Seven Deadly Sins (Lust)

The _one time_ Michelle was late to work was the day weird stuff happened. It probably wouldn’t have made a difference if she had been on time, but still. She didn’t notice anything at first, just started checking on her experiments and generally trying to make up for lost time. After a while she realised that Scot hadn’t done anything the whole time she had been there. Carlos was apparently working, but Scot was just watching him.

“Hey!” She called. “You want to at least _pretend_ you’re going to work today?”

“Shhh.” Scot said, waving her over. Michelle rolled her eyes and went over to him. “Look at this.” He said quietly, pointing at Carlos.

“What?” She said, looking. “It’s just…” She trailed off, finally noticing that things weren’t quite right. Carlos was noticeably sweatier than usual and he was… _caressing_ his equipment. There was no other way to describe it. “What the hell?”

“Shh. Listen.” So Michelle listened and, yes, Carlos was in fact talking, apparently to his experiment. He mixed two chemicals and tested them with a thermometer.

“Mmm, an exothermic reaction huh? That’s hot.” He said, stroking the test tube before pulling away like he had been burned. Which he probably had. He picked up another sample of the chemical. “You must be made of uranium and iodine, because all I can see is U and I.” He told it before putting a drop on a microscope slide, moaning a little as he did.

“What the hell?” Michelle whispered to Scot. They were the only three left from the original team, the others having fled or died, and nothing… Night Vale had happened to any of them. Until now apparently.

“I don’t know.” Scot said with a shrug. “He’s been like this since he got in.”

“And, what, you’ve just been watching?” Michelle said accusingly. “You haven’t tried to stop him or find out what’s going on?”

“Of course I did, I’m not completely useless. I tried asking what was up but he wouldn’t talk to me. And there’s no way I’m touching him, what if its contagious? It’ll probably wear off eventually, whatever it is.”

“Is that DNA helicase I see? Good to know you can unzip my jeans.” Carlos said in the background. Michelle stared at him, then at Scot, then back at Carlos.

“So we’re just not going to do anything about this?” She asked.

“Well, I’ll keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself, but what else can we do?” Scot pointed out. Michelle frowned, but he was probably right.

“We should turn your potential energy into kinetic energy.” Carlos told his sample, waggling his eyebrows at it as he put it in the centrifuge. He watched it for a minute before apparently getting distracted and heading over to an old experiment they used to check if gravity was still working properly. Michelle sighed, switched off the centrifuge, and stood directly in front of Carlos.

“Carlos, what the hell?” She asked. He blinked a few times before he even seemed to see her.

“Oh. Hey, Michelle, do you realise how… _interesting_ science is?” He said before pushing past her and picking up a ball. He dropped it, watching intently as it fell. “Like gravity. It’s an _attracting_ force. Attraction between two bodies.” He gasped and his eyes widened. “And it’s… working on me, _right now. Oh.”_ He added, a little breathlessly. Carlos crouched down and touched the ball he had dropped, caressing it gently. He hummed appreciatively and put his other hand between his legs.

“Oh my god.” Michelle covered her face before coming to a decision. “I’m going home.” She announced, pointedly _not_ looking at Carlos. “Scot, make sure he doesn’t take off his pants, ok? And don’t let him touch my experiments.”

“Don’t worry, I’m staying right here,” Scot said, grinning. “I think this is hilarious.”

**Author's Note:**

> And he had a boner the whole time the end.
> 
> I can't believe I wrote this. I blame the science puns.


End file.
